As an attorney and a proud adoptive father of my daughter Katherine, I have seen just about every joy and difficulty that one can experience.
Over the course of four years, my wife and I went through nine different attempts of either IUI’s and IVF’s. We suffered a miscarriage. After all of these fertility treatment attempts, we knew we wanted a family to change our lives, and we knew that we could also change a life – we decided to begin the adoption process.
We wanted nothing more in life than to raise a child. When we received “the call”, the night that Katherine was born, my wife and I got in the car to start driving to the hospital on a Sunday night at 10 o’clock in the evening. As adoptive parents our hospital was eight hours away from where we live. Each hour, I asked my wife if she wanted me to take over driving so she could get some sleep. She was so determined to experience being a mother for the first time that she never even let me touch the steering wheel that night. With each new road in front of us, each turn, stop and start I started to think this journey to meet our daughter was a metaphor for our journey as a family.
Many people told me that parenthood is a long rewarding journey. Few realize that for many people simply becoming parents is a long difficult journey in and of itself. But for those of you, like me, who have struggled to have children, I assure you that the gift of adoption is amazing, and worth the struggle. There will be tears, long nights, questions without answers, but in the end it will all be forgotten as you help someone in need, and change the life of a child.
I consider myself very lucky to be an adoptive parent. It has taught me to appreciate every little moment of being a parent like when I wake up Katherine from her crib in the morning and she smiles and hugs me. My favorite will always be when I walk into my house after work and have Katherine scream “Daddy!” with all the excitement as if a rock star just walked into the house. These moments are daily occurrence that I will always cherish. Through our journey I have learned never to take parenting for granted and never tire of reminding Katherine how much she is loved.
Each morning I ask God to bless the wonderfully strong woman that is Katherine’s birth mother and thank her for the incredible gift of parenthood that she has given my wife and I. I am thankful that we were able to spend a lot of time with her to get to know her so that we can eventually answer all of Katherine’s questions about how much she loves her and what an amazing woman she is and will always be – she will always be a part of Katherine’s story and she will always be loved.
It is for these reasons that I deeply hope to help others experience the gift of adoption. It amazes me how little is understood about the process and how people are generally hesitant to discuss it openly.
I have found that often prospective adoptive parents are too concerned that having contact with the child’s birth parents will not have a positive impact on the child’s life. Futhermore, often birth parents worry about whether their child will grow up not feeling loved or be mad at them for choosing adoption.
Whether you are a family seeking to adopt or you are a birth parent considering an adoption I would welcome the opportunity to share my story with you and give you the proper legal guidance that you need to assure that adoption is the right choice for you and your family.